How To Raise Successful Children
People often ask Larry and I, “What is the secret to how your family is so unified and your kids seem so passionate about the right things?” Well, it’s no secret really. But in today’s show, I give you four things that MUST happen if you want to raise up God-fearing, successful children in today’s crazy world.
There are a TON of mommy bloggers and social mavens who talk about raising their little ones in those toddler years, but you will be hard-pressed to find parents posting about the unity, faith, courage, and honor of their teens. I would have never thought this would be a path God would call me to write about but here we are and here I am at 48 years old proclaiming the greatest badge of honor in my life as the children Larry and I have raised.
So, consider this the first of many PARENTING tips to help others make SHIFT happen in their families
ARROWS IN THE HANDS OF WARRIORS.
Yesterday, we returned from this year’s first NCFCA Speech and Debate Tournament where Payton and Alexia did fantastic. Alexia placed 10th overall, out of HUNDREDS of students in her speech and Payton placed second overall which was quite the accomplishment of hard work and practice.
One of the illustrations he uses for his topic of Tension and Adversity talks about how he learned that tension behind an arrow gives it the power to be projected to its target. He then goes on to talk about the adversity or tension of his life, including being bit by a scorpion 4 times in the night, being badly bullied as a middle-schooler, the unexpected passing of his Grandpa and the loss of his dog after 13 years. All of these events happened in one year and yet they were all a set up for even greater blessings.
Let’s consider that analogy in today’s message:
PARENTING: HOW TO RAISE UP SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN
First, let’s define the true meaning of success.
Success= Doing what the manufacturer created you to do and doing it with excellence. As I’ve discussed in other videos, God created YOU for one purpose and that is to reflect HIM to the world around you. No matter what your age, color, ethnicity, background or whether you are healthy, confined to a wheelchair or incarcerated….GOD WANTS YOU TO BE HIS LIGHT TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU.
Psalm 127:3-5…”Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord…….like arrows in the hand of a warrior.”
Think about it: Arrows are weapons created with a purpose of penetrating a target. God has a plan for your child and their success in this life falls upon whether or not they fulfill that plan. What shape their arrowhead takes on or what career path they choose, their PURPOSE will remain the same and that is to use their unique talents, abilities, and skills to REFLECT God in the marketplace and world.
Here are 4 important keys to honing effective arrows that should be applied to parenting today.
The parts of an arrow are 1. The Shaft. 2. The Fletching. 3. The Nock. 4. The Arrowhead
1. The Shaft: FOUNDATION
To make a powerful arrow, you need a solid shaft or spine. The shaft of an arrow is what everything attaches to and it becomes the strength of the arrow. These are the core values or biblical foundations that God wants you to teach your children daily.
Now, more than ever, it is imperative that you teach your children God’s Word and principles and help them live outside of the box of this culture.
Prov. 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he/she should go so that when they are old they won’t depart from it.
This is why we spend so much time with our kids. DAILY, we spend at least 1 hour together studying God’s word, discussing leadership principles and talking about real-world situations they are facing. You can join us for these discussions “At the Table” Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays on Facebook LIVE.
Deuteronomy 6:4-6 – “Attention, Israel! …Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.”
It is your #1 purpose in this life to KNOW GOD and make HIM KNOWN through your example, your words and your life. Your children not only need YOU to teach them God’s ways but He wants you to lead by example. This will require YOU to take your spiritual life to another level and require you to SACRIFICE time to ensure your children get it drilled into their hearts too.
This is NOT the job of your pastor, Sunday school teacher or a friend. YOU are the warrior and your kids are your weapons in this life. It is YOUR responsibility to KNOW God and make Him known to your family.
2. The Fletching: DIRECTION
So what’s the use of those feathers or fletching at the backend of an arrow? Not only do they make the arrow unique, much like your children’s personality traits, but their primary purpose is to provide direction and to keep the arrow on a straight path.
Your child will have unique personality traits, skills, and desires that if not attached to a solid shaft or foundation will lead them to a dangerous place. Their character development of those talents will determine whether they honor authority or rebel in the workplace. This is why it is so important to spend quality time with your kids and help them discover and discern their unique gifting and then show them how they can be applied to Biblical foundations in reflecting God to the marketplace.
3. The Nock: TIMING
The nock is the small groove at the back end of the arrow that holds the arrow locked in place until it is ready to be released towards its target. If an arrow or child is released prematurely, it can create great danger and potentially do more harm than good. When poor family leadership results in broken relationships in the home, children often seek to escape, run or even turn away from their parents altogether.
This is why starting early and loving often is so critical to your children’s success. It’s also why marriage matters and the movie they see playing out in YOUR LIFE is what they will use as the foundation of their own future.
So how do you hold them in the nock? Spending quality time teaching God’s principles and applying them to your everyday lives. Let your home carry the fragrance of forgiveness, mercy, and love while also holding strong to the principles of God’s word. If you don’t want violence and sexual immorality as a foundational standard, don’t male it core entertainment in what you watch as a family at night. (Ouch…I know that was a low blow, but it is TRUTH.)
Rules without relationships result in rebellion. If you try to TELL your kids what to do but hold standards that are opposite your expectations, you will soon see rebellion based on hypocritical bias. Live out your faith daily and show your children that the God-way is the Blessed Way. Teaching them what to do without showing them how to do it will be like a resounding GONG in the ears of your children.
More will be caught by your example than taught by your lips.
4. The Arrowhead: FOCUSED PASSION
The point or arrowhead is what will create the greatest amount of impact. Every arrowhead has a unique shape and talent. Some are made for archery practice, some are made for killing animals while other arrows, especially in medieval times were created to violently wound or kill enemies. Your children will have specific talents that must be shaped by their hunger or passion to make a difference in this world. It will be up to you to help chisel those talents and passions so that they truly penetrate their target.
There are many talented or even highly educated people in this world but they have no driving passion or knowledge of their purpose that pushes them forward. Many Ph.D.’s are found homeless under bridges, talented singers found lost in a world of drugs, genius minds locked on Prozac….why? Because their focus has been dulled and their passion numbed by the adversity they have faced.
Adversity, however, is your friend, not your foe. If the shaft or foundation of the arrow is weak, it will break under tension. If you don’t create a solid foundation of Biblical Excellence for your family, the adversities of life may send them to the dark side. However, when you choose to allow God to turn your adversity into advantage, He will begin to shift the trajectory of your life.
Adversity is the tension behind the arrow that propels your children to go further in life. It also creates greater focus and passion for your children to reach their target. For example, some kids raised in poverty become relentlessly passionate about buying their family a home or never falling into their family’s footsteps of hunger. Kids raised in an abusive situation often seek to be an extension of love or protection to those in need. God uses adversity to create tenacity and focus towards higher purposes. That is why Romans 8:28 declares, “All things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to His purpose.”
So if you are older in age and failed to hold these truths as standards in your home, don’t fret. When you turn your heart toward God, He will return to His Promise to you.
As a highly sought-after speaker, thought leader, author, and expert in business psychology, Staci Wallace’s messages of uncompromising truth equip CEO's, influencers, entrepreneurs, and leaders in the marketplace to launch and scale purpose-driven, highly profitable lives and businesses that leave a powerful impact on the world. With over 35 years in Executive Corporate Leadership and over 25 in global ministry, Staci's desire is to support Kingdom Entreprenuers with tools that equip leaders and send them to the four corners of the earth. Her distinctions in business success have enabled her to share the stage with five U.S. Presidents and many other high profile leaders of this generation as well as to be a featured "Life & Business Coach" for such shows as KTHV's Morning Show, NBC, ABC, FOX and is the current co-host of the "Fueled By Fire Podcast" alongside her husband of 25 years, Larry Wallace.