Just Say “No”

Does this scenario sound familiar? You tell someone that you will do something and your really believe you can pull it off. As the deadline gets closer, you feel the stress and pressure of fulfilling your promise but begin to wonder if you will be able to finish the task. Knowing that someone is counting on your efforts, you stay up late at night, work unrealistic hours, forsake valuable time with your family and even allow your body to grow weary in the process. Finally the day of delivery on your promise arrives and you get discouraged because you feel tired, worn out, and afraid that you didn’t “cut the grade” of excellence. You feel a sense of regret as though you let yourself down and caused others to look at you with less approval.

If you have found yourself in that situation over and over again, chances are you are in need of learning a simple word that somehow has escaped your vocabulary. That word is “NO!”

Say “No” To Over committing

According to the dictionary, “over commitment” means: To bind or obligate (oneself, for example) beyond the capacity for realization.

When you are “bound” it means that you are caught in feeling or situation that you can’t escape. It is a form of bondage that leaves you feeling empty, lost, and often out of control. So why do we choose to over commit ourselves? Why do we say “yes” to things we really don’t want to do?

Many people have a problem saying “no” because of an addiction that masks itself in busyness. It is called the approval addiction. Individuals who over commit or take on unrealistic responsibilities are often “people pleasers” who find their sense of worth in the acceptance of others. If that is you, take a good look in the mirror and say to yourself, “I don’t need people’s approval to be proven GREAT.”

According to Dr. Carol Williams-Nickelson of the American Psychological Association, “Learning to say no can be a very difficult thing to do, particularly for those who want to stand out among a cohort of other high-achieving and talented individuals. People that you don’t see or interact with on a regular basis may not realize the full extent of your time commitments. When your schedule is already pushing its maximum capacity, it’s not only permissible, but important, to say no and to feel comfortable setting limits. Before committing to something new, take some time to think about the implications, so that if you do agree to take it on you can perform to the best of your abilities and be absolutely certain you can follow through. The first few times you have to turn down an exciting opportunity may feel awkward or unsettling. But it’s much better for you and your reputation to do a few things exceedingly well, than a lot of things in a mediocre way.”

Say “No” To Overspending

Much in the same way as many need to be freed from over committing their time, others need to be freed from overspending their hard earned dollars. Did you know that the average American family overspends by 20% despite their income? That means it doesn’t matter if you make $20,000 a year or $200,000 a year, chances are you will overspend by 20%. And why do we do it? Once again, it all boils down to the need to be accepted, approved, or to achieve a feeling of accomplishment. Next time you feel like you “just HAVE to have those shoes, that TV, that new phone, or a new outfit for your kids” ask yourself if what you really NEED is to just say, “No!”

Say “No” To Overeating

Too much of anything good can be damaging to our career, our relationships, and even our bodies. In my health and wellness program “The Ultimate Body Make-Over”, I spend a great deal of coaching on the topic of food portions, blood types, and how to get to the root of emotional problems that lead to emotional eating. Often times, when I meet someone who has a lack of control in the area of eating, I can find other areas of overindulgence. For example, one young lady who weighed 373 pounds also tended to overpack her car with “excessive” papers, wrappers, and books. Another business man who was an overeater, manifested his excessive behavior in over committing in his sales quotas with a desire to please his boss. Unfortunately, in both instances it led to confusion, frustration, and eventual depression.

Overeating can trigger other areas of compulsive behaviors so the next time you sit down to munch on snacks, make a point to put your snacks on a plate instead of eating from the bag or grazing. It is easy to overeat when you don’t realize how much you are actually eating. Be aware of your intake and monitor your portions. When “seconds” are offered, just say, “No, thank you!”, and let the extras pass you by. This may be a challenge for those of you who eat to be socially or emotionally accepted. If you deal with a constant state of hunger, chances are your body is out of balance and you need an inner overhaul. I encourage you to consider The Ultimate Body Make-Over and see how so many are breaking free from the bondage of overeating once and for all by dealing with the deeper issues that lead to a lack of wellness. In that program, we offer a revolutionary product that helps to curb overeating and lead our clients to a life of balanced wellness.

This season, when you are given the change to over commit, overspend, or overeat, take that powerful little word, “No!” out for a spin and watch how it becomes a dynamic key to greater peace and balance.